The Guilt of a Food Allergic Mom

By the grace of God, our son Ryan's food allergies are not nearly what Alexis' are. Yes, he is allergic to the same food but will only develop eczema, stomach cramps and diarrhea should he ingest any of them - he has never gone into anaphylactic shock, thankfully.

Ryan is in Kindergarten and doing extremely well. Because of the extreme measures we had to take with Alexis, his teachers are prepared and aware of his situation. Fortunately, he does not need and epipen and the staff know he can not share food and must never eat anything that is brought in by another parent. And although we talked to the other parents to call us should they want to bring in cupcakes, etc. they often don't. Therefore, we always keep a stash of Sweet Alexis Chocolate Chip cookies in the room fridge should something come up.

Today was a learning experience. When dropping Ryan at school, we discovered he had a substitute teacher. She had been to the class previously, knew of Ryan's allergies and everyone seemed comforatable - we have a strict rule, if our kids to not feel safe or the caregiver/teacher/sub doesn't "get it", we pull them out. But, he was happy so I proceeded to remind her about Ryan's allergies and those of one other child in the class room. I gave him loves and I went about my morning.

Upon picking Ryan up, I saw that he was huddled in a ball with his head hung low between his knees, very upset. Aparently, one mom brought in cupcakes and Tootsie Roll lollypops which both contain milk. The substitute was unaware of the stash of safe cookies in the fridge and Ryan sat and watched the other children eat cupcakes while he had nothing (the other child with allergies was able to eat the lollypop). He was devestated. I was heartbroken.

Immediately, I reminded Ryan about his secret stash and allowed him to eat two cookies! I told him how proud I was that he kept himself safe and apologized that he had that experience. My poor boy.

We try to do all we can for our children, but sometimes things fall through the cracks. We are both a little worse for wear today, but we will learn and move on. Now, I'm off to write a reminder note to all the parents about Ryan and his food allergies - hopefully next time someone will remember his secret stash in the fridge.