Helping Grandparents Understand Food Allergies

It is almost impossible to convey, unless you or an immediate family member has food allergies, how dangerous the disability can be. Teaching the severity of the situation to relatives including grandparents, some experts say, can be extremely difficult. This is especially true between in-laws if there is already tension as the strain of food allergies can only make things worse.

Unfortunately, this is a common situation in the allergen community. I have spoken with many families across the nation whom has shared similar experiences. All too often grandparents discount the seriousness of the situation, think the parent is being over protective and get offended by our countless attempts to inform them on the subject. This, of course, will cause stress and anxiety in the relationship. I have heard numerous tales of relatives (including mine) brining unsafe food into the home, such as cheese balls covered in nuts, or giving the children candy without considering if the are made in an allergen free facility.

Part of the reason for the difficulty could be the notion that “just a little” won’t hurt the child when in fact it could kill them. Possibly this misunderstanding comes from grandparents equating food allergies to diabetes where (in some cases) a little sugar won’t hurt the diabetic so therefore a little peanut butter should be fine. Another possibility is the simple fact that when our parents and grandparents were young, food allergies were almost unheard of and they just don’t understand how or why this is all happening. Unfortunately, know one does but nonetheless food allergies are rising, especially in children, at an alarming rate.

So, how do we get our point across regarding the severity of the situation without offending anyone? Start with the basics; give the grandparents a list of all the allergies your child has, including alternate names, such as whey. Explain to them about cross contamination and the need to be extremely cautious when cooking and cleaning. Provide them with a video of a person going into anaphylactic shock (as they may not read the material you give to them) and watch it together so you can answer any questions. Tell them that re-reading labels is not a trust issue, but standard practice (my husband and I do this daily). Buy “safe” food for them to keep in their fridge or freezer when the child comes to visit.

In addition, provide grandparents with a list of common allergic reactions and an emergency action plan should any of the following occur:
Coughing – like there is a tickle in your throat
Hives
Trouble breathing/Wheezing
Swelling in the face and lips
Stomach cramps
Vomiting
Ears and throat itching

Although it can be challenging, try to keep the dialog open. Grandparents are a treasured part of the family and have much to offer. For more information on food allergies, guide grandparents to www.AARP.org and search “food allergies” or go to The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network at www.foodallergy.org.